This is the time im breaking down again…i guess im abnormal already…i guess i really need a doctor to heal me!!!! I feel really fragile and vulnerable these days…How much longer i wanna live in this way??? I really hate my life…I’ve been living a life that i dont want to…I’ve made a huge mistake in my life…!!!! I screwed up my life…………I dont know how to fix it again…Im a coward…im really useless…i dont know how to solve problems…i really dont know how…When i face difficulties, i just want to run away…im such a coward… Im really sick and tired of everything…Im gonna finish my studies in few months…But i dont even know if everything’s gonna be alright…
I screwed up everything…my studies has totally turned me into another person…i guess i could be much happier if i never chose this course…and i wouldn’t be like today - living a life that i dont want to…trying to hold on to this life every single day…hating myself…making ppl around me hate me(Coz im so hated…i guess maybe im too useless….)
Sometimes i even avoid talking to people when im down n upset…coz i dont wanna spoil other people’s mood…and also i dont wanna let people see me in that way!!!!! I hate it so much when im down n upset…i seriously hate it….but i just try my best to pretend like im happy everytime im sad…people will not understand…that im actually bleeding inside…that im screaming inside…that i hate myself so much inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New year…New resolution huh? I dont have any…I just want to end this screwed up life soon!!!!!!!!!!!!! All i want is to be HAPPY…………………………
Will my wish come true??????????????????????????????
