Not happy again. . reli feel so bored.. tried to sleep early but was awaken by someone again.. then cant fall asleep already. haiz.... reli hate to stay awake which will make me think alot of things... how i wish i could sleep as much as possible every day.. too bad i always have sleeping problem... =( wake up again and will think back of all the problems.. all the things that make me sad... feel so unsure bout this life... my direction.. friends... love... and all.. everything just fell apart.. now i seriously believe that nothing lasts forever... even close friends r not close anymore... dislike each other.. maybe.. sometimes just feel like i dun even know the one i used to care bout anymore.. no, maybe i never know her.. how sad it is to become strangers now... Does true friendship really exist in this world? or people are just using each other..?im reli uncertain bout this.. sigh............
Im just really moody.. feel so alone in this world.. no true friends.. no special one to love me.. i just dunno what's wrong with me...... someone just told me today that i have to take initiative to get more friends.. or maybe more guy friends.. my world is too too small... i dont reli have many friends in KL... but i just cant do it.. im such a coward... i never dare to talk to the ones i have feelings for.. or even guys... i become more and more introverted day by day.. the past few days were still ok for me.. sometimes i feel like i have friends to care about me,which make me feel so warmed.. but sometimes i feel soo alone when im reli alone... i tend to think alot that time...
Sometimes i reli miss the life back in Genting.. atleast i got to know a few of very very good frens there.. and our frenship lasts until now even thou we hardly even meet.. they still care bout me.. i reli feel grateful and touched.. but i just feel sad coz we cant always hang out and chat often. .
Working life in KL sucks... i just hate it... the long working hours...the shift ( i seriously hate to get up sooo early, i'd rather work evening or night shift..).. the long distance to the company.. have to walk such a long distance every day... which sometimes i feel reli reli tired and cant take it anymore.. and this reli spoilts my mood.... and sometimes still have to walk alone at nite.. i reli hate that and im scared to walk alone in the dark... not many ppl can understand how it feels like.. I reli reli reli wanna enjoy life just like other youngsters too........ im still young but y do i live a life like old woman now...........!! how ironic.... i wanna go hang out with friends.. i wanna go yamcha with friends.. i wanna go for movies with friends... altho single but we can still enjoy our lives, rite?? but y everythin just seems so hard to me???????????????
Lastime i tot of leaving this place, leaving the place i work, leaving everythin...and start all over again.. but i dunno if things will be better after that.. and i just feel so discouraged to handle all the things by myself.. nobody is there for me.. so i gave up..... Im reli reli numb now.. i dunno what i should do to make my life better... its always easier said than done... i always try to pretend to be happy but when only i can reli smile from the bottom of my heart?
Im so tired......
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