On the edge of breaking down....

Again...Im sorry...i've tried hard to be positive but i just can't do it... it's getting serious these days... i feel really suffocated sometimes and tears are my company almost every day... i just cant help but breaking down.... these days i've been thinking what are the reasons for me to live in this world... and i cant find a single reason for me to carry on this life... i really feel like dying at times....since i've been so suffering and unhappy living like this, why do i still have to carry on this life....?

I know whoever reading this blog still are very concerned of me... but im sorry.. im too useless...im too weak... im not strong enough to live like this.....im reli reli tired already.....nowadays i only know how to shed my tears but dunno how to change my life and be happy again.... it's just too hard for me to do it alone, i feel so numb..... Gosh........these days i feel so hard to breathe or do anything at all.... it's like the end of the world to me.. i cant see my future...i can only see darkness right now.......... i seriously hate this!!!!!!!!!! i seriously hate the way i am right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really really don't know what I should do now........ can anybody tell me??? I need someone to come save me .... I dont wanna become like this....i just wanna be a normal girl.... living a normal life.... hanging out and chit-chatting with friends and laughing from the bottom of heart.... like i used to........

I'm soo tied down with my life i guess.... i've lost so much things and i cant even find them back now..... it's really really frustrating....

FRIENDS.... I NEED YOU.....I REALLY REALLY NEED YOU TO BE BY MY SIDE....i dun wanna be alone....i need your support to help me carry on this life.... it's just such a fragile and vulnerable period for me, it's not that i've become so ignorant.. being silent doesn't mean that i don't care...i do....i still do............

Just....no matter how i've changed, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME.......k? I'm really so scared of losing u all.....really............